Thursday, October 8, 2009

Press Release from Wendell Barcelona

Folks - Wendell asked me to post his Press Release onto my website as apparently his is down for maintenence at this time. I asked him if it was maintenence on his wallet! He said he needed to get this press release out to the public as soon as possible so I'm allowing him to utilize my highly read forum. Thanks for understanding, we'll talk soon - Buford.

Los Angeles California, October 28th, 2009 / Wendell Barcelona Press Release

Waverly Iowa considered as potential home for Legendary Hollywood Film Star!

An open Press Release to the citizens of Waverly, Iowa

From the desk of Wendell Barcelona,

Hollywood California.

Waverly, thanks for letting us drop in!

While many of you slept you may not even known that you were visited by an Academy Nominated Hollywood Film Star. Two Thursdays back my client, his personal trainer, along with a bodyguard, and myself were in your lovely burg scouting out locations for an independent film that my client is not only being credited for co-writing, is also co-producing. My client had heard your Ashton Kutcher a few years back on one of the talk shows discussing Iowa in great detail and when this project came to light he said “Wendell, we’re going to Iowa” I admit, I had to look upon Google to find your state. I’m glad I did!

We spent Thursday driving gravel roads looking for an abandoned farm house that more than likely will have to be torn down and rebuilt. We stopped into a small cafĂ© in a city called Plainfield. (love that name Plain Field So free of any illusions of grandeur which clutter up the names of other cities. If you choose to live in a Plain Field, you simply cannot have high expectations…wonderful!)

After having a lunch so life-like, there were actual farmers with red caps who smelled like farm animals, our group departed toward the city and looked forward to spending a night at the luxurious Red Fox Inn. We showered and after trying unsuccessfully to land a masseuse to come to our suites we gave up and headed “Downtown.” Your city was alive! We drove past your film matinee where people were actually standing in line! Unheard of in LA! We ate deep fried foods at a tavern named “the Goat” and we relaxed along the riverfront and watched people openly trying to catch fish while not one homeless person approached us for money! My client was floored. He turned to me and said “Wendell, I need to experience a rebirth of life here”

A little background. Over the last several years my client has become a bit disillusioned with the film industry in LA. He is accustomed to securing 15 to 20 million per picture but over the last few years the film industry has changed to no up-front, back-end only contracts. I realize I’m throwing a lot of big city industry film terms around but bear with me. My client recently had a 4 picture development deal that went Detroit (died) He had invested almost 2 years of his life traveling between Dubai meeting with the investors and LA to meet with producers. After the deal was put to rest he took a hiatus and has been reading scripts and looking for something small in which he can get back to his roots. (His roots are born and raised in Venice Beach but he wanted to feel something real, dirt!) He has purchased a screenplay, changed some of the locations from a tropical film location to a rural scenic destination. That is why we’re in Iowa. How did we land in Waverly Iowa you ask? Simple! You won the lottery when a dart, tossed by my client, hit the tiny town of Clarksville. The logical “city” was Greene (which has a much smaller population than appears on the map) after flying into Mason City; the limo driver stated “Waverly is the next Palm Springs.” We drove straight from Greene Iowa to Waverly Iowa and here we are. You should feel very fortunate at the luck of the dart Waverly; it could have just as easily struck an Ottumwa or Decorah.

My client not only fell in love with the land but became enamored of Waverly. He understands that Ashton Kutcher ran from the fields of Iowa like a Coyote running out of the hills of a southern California wildfire but my client so loved our Thursday venture that he has decided he wants to live in your city Waverly permanently!

He has retained me to write an open press release to your newspaper and other media. He wanted the citizens of Waverly to be informed of your wonderful luck before it leaks into the trades or on TMZ. My client wants to stress that he is just a regular guy. He understands you’ll want to approach him on the streets and in the restaurants. (A Mrs. Ackerman asked for his autograph at the Dairy Queen but we were not really bothered) He will hold a news conference in your city at a future date before the move and of course will allow a one time public viewing of his private residences and offices once those are completed.

He is looking at a potential move date of October of 2013. This should allow your economic development group plenty of time to consider some of the suggestions that my client has requested your city provides in order for him (and yourselves) to acclimate to living in the Midwest.

The very first thing we noticed upon retiring to the Red Fox Inn and preparing for our evening out were a legitimate lack of starlets. My client, currently single, would require a rather large dating pool of available females. Being in his late forties to early sixties his dating pool can include physically fit, blond starlet types between 23 and 34 years of age. We realize there are no actual starlets in Waverly but perhaps several could acquire the look. “Heroin thin”, blond, enhanced. My client would be willing to provide all funding for nutritionist, Pilates instructors and a doctor who is able to provide any medications and/or surgeries required to help these women achieve his desired results. We are asking the city provide an environment able to sustain a pool of 18 to 25 young women to be available at anytime to date my client. Single moms and farmer’s wives would be considered. (We were at the Applebees? and two young mothers of about 24 climbed down out of their large pickup truck both wearing coveralls and boots over the top of them. My client could tell underneath their feed caps that there may be potential in these farm wives. They were so brazen and fearless being in public in coveralls…Raw bold beauty.)

My client will require adequate housing and office space. He has put his 25,000 square foot home in Hollywood on the market and would require similar accommodations. He visited a couple of homes in Gateway which he considered purchasing and combining but then decided he would help out Waverly by putting up some of his own money and stimulating economic development as a showing of wanting to become a regular Waverly citizen.

My client has retained the Radishire Architectural Group from Australia and has delivered a vision to them of what he needs to feel fulfilled in. The Radishire Group is working on plans as of this writing. I cannot divulge all details but here is a “sneak preview” of what he intends to build. Your downtown skyline could be enhanced with an 11 story all glass building. My client will occupy an 18,000 square foot luxury condominium on the top floor, 10th floor for production studio. 9th floor would be available for any visiting friends, family and extended stay for his ex-wife/business partner whom he maintains a cordial relationship. The other 8 floors would be city owned. My client could provide initial capital to begin the project and of course would purchase the top three floors. The city would be required to fill the remainder 8 floors in exchange for partial ownership in the building and of course share in the taxes generated from it.

My client currently has a glorious expansive ocean view. We are not sure how this works but would be forever grateful if the city could create a small 500 acre lake for water front property. He would love to be able to look out of his windows in the morning as he does his yoga and align his chi with water. Something similar to what the city of Chicago offers. (This is not a deal breaker he finds your “ocean of corn” quite appealing at this time. Perhaps the Waverly ocean could be a 3 to 5 year project. When we viewed some of the flood images on Google however, he did remark, “It’s a shame the waters went away completely, some if it provided a lovely city lake”

I’m sorry Waverly but this next suggestion is a little embarrassing for you. My client realizes you’ve been dealing with floods and tornados over the last few years but you’ve got to pull yourselves up by your bootstraps and continue to be progressive! Your city is appallingly lacking a Rolls Royce or Bentley dealership – Frankly your inventory of Buicks and Fords is… well…Boring. You may not be aware of this but did you know that California has completely different models of Fords and Buicks than your dealerships are offering you? Have you even heard of the Buick Opulence? While not a deal breaker, a Rolls or Bentley dealership would be ideal. We needed a luxury vehicle last Thursday, stopped in to purchase one, and while talking to a sales person at the Chevrolet dealership, he did think it would be possible to take on a line of perhaps something like Land Rover. Chicago is simply too far away to have to drive to rent a Ferrari for the weekend. Consider this Waverly. You cannot really call yourself a city without a high end luxury automobile dealership.

Finally, my client has an eclectic collection of friends who could be bringing in incredible amounts of money but would also need an extremely large hotel built to accommodate them and their entourages. Hollywood people travel in large groups and stay for extended periods. Your hotel should have no problem keeping rooms booked for periods of 3 to 4 months to an entourage of 70 to 80 people. My client’s celebrity golf tournament which raises money for children with cleft palates has 50 celebrities who participate. That brings close to 6000 people on opening day just from their entourages and handlers. While we plan to continue that tournament at the Beverly Hills Golf and Country Club at this time, down the road James Wood and Stuart Copeland (of the rock band the Police) might get a real kick out of playing a couple of rounds in Waverly Iowa. (I can’t promise due to contractual details)

My client realizes these request make him sound like he is a demanding sort. Just the opposite! He feels these are all amenities that locals could (and would) enjoy. He says that once situated he may even get a kick out of being your Mayor for a few years. His friend Mr. Eastwood reigned in Carmel for a while and it was a hoot. My client feels we could negotiate with your city promotions board and come to terms for him to be adequately compensated for the international exposure provided to Waverly in exchange for him reigning as Mayor.

Things we loved about Waverly!

Your tiny airport cute and homey in its cornfield surroundings would be adequate for 14 to 16 Lear Jets landing and taking off. (Please for the love of God is there a limousine service in Waverly? He’ll require daily rental)

Your traffic light obedience policies are funny. The lights turn yellow and people actually stop before the light turns red. We sat by the river and watched people do that for 2 hours. We laughed so hard I thought my client’s personal trainer was going to pass out.

You seem to have delicious water. He’ll still drink imported bottled water but he won’t have to shower in it.

There you have it Waverly. We’ll keep you updated as the potential move and film production comes closer. Due to contractual obligations and privacy policy I am unable to name my client at this time. If you run into Mrs. Ackerman she may spill the beans as she shows you her newly prized “Go Hawk” T-shirt (with the “chocolate fudge likeness of Mickey Mouse” stain)

We look forward to another potential visit in early spring. Enjoy your fall (we hear “the leaves are beautiful” that is so funny!)

Wendell Barcelona

Wendell Barcelona and Associates
WB&A Media Inc.
The WB Group of Affiliated Artists
WB Productions
A Wendell Barcelona Company
Barcelona Events
Hollywood California.
2000091 Avenue of the Stars
Suite 2940B2Los Angeles, CA 90067t: 421.288.2000 f: 421.288.2980