Providing Inspiration to All

So a letter comes in the mail this morning. It was looking pretty official so I decided I better open it even before eating last nights leftover boiled cabbage and pig ear which we fried in peanut oil and served over baked tomato paste.

This letter came from the President and it stated. "Mr. Buford M. Pickleberry your service to the country is needed and most critical if we are to continue on as the free country that we are today". Well to say this intrigued me was an understatement. I continued reading (after I watched that funny son of a gun Maury Povich for a 1/2 hour) The letter went on to say. Mr. Pickleberry, as part of the Presidents Inspire America Act, we are asking 15 of the most influential Americans of all time to donate 3 hours of your day every day for the next 6 months toward inspiring America!

Now, I thought Ol' Buford inspired Dan and Wendell every single day when they come to help me out a few hours and along with my monthly motivational speeches at the Appanoose County Red Hat group's Wednesday luncheon series, well that should be enough. Then I thought, you know Mr. President, you are correct, Ol' Buford does have some more inspiration left in him. Sometimes I think it's gas but then sometimes it is inspiration.

I continued readng. Mr. Pickleberry, you've been included in a select group of Americans that have brought joy to thousands, inspired millions with your success stories and provided the basis of a life that others can use to springboard their otherwise mundane day to day existense into a life of ultra-achievement and rewards.

Wow! Mr. President can really lay it on Ol' Buford. Well... What is next.

The letter went on to say. We're not asking you to develop any speech, you won't need to deliver any presentations. We simply want to put you up on a pedestal in pre-determined locations around the nation for others to see you up close and in person. (of course red velvet ropes will be utilized to keep a safe and reasonable distance) we'll fly you every day to a location, you'll be lifted onto a pedestal where you will stand and look inspirational for 3 hours. It is our dream that the mere vision of you will inspire those looking to go out, reinvent themselves in your image, take on new challenges and become the type of American that you are Mr. Pickleberry.

So, I thought to myself. What do I need to do to contribute toward inspring Americans? The letter went on. Beginning April 11th you'll be joining an elite group of 15 Americans who have expressed a willingness to inspire others by being showcased to the masses of workers who otherwise may have a very boring day.

Mr. Pickleberry. We'll begin your tour on Wall Street, you'll stand on Madison and 11th on a 15 foot pedestal and merely look grandeur for the passerby between 6 a.m. and 9 a.m. From there we'll fly you to Mt. Rushmore where you'll stand between heavy traffic times of 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. for the hundreds of people to witness a "Live Inspiration" instead of mere rock.
Your tour will continue on across the country at locations in Denver, Los Angeles MOMA and Branson Missouri as well as others.

We'll end the month long event of Live American Inpsirations tour with a culmination event of a 24 hour live viewing of all 15 Inspirational Americans in Washington DC on May 24th. The live viewing will be broadcast in its entirety on CNN and other networks. We'll allow you some sleep as you prepare for the 24 hours inspiration marathon and of course a couple of bathroom breaks.

The letter ended with Thank you for being one of our 15 inspirational Americans Mr. Buford M. Pickleberry. Your lifelong dedication to perfections and inpsiring others has not gone unnoticed, we look forward to your participation in the Presidents plan to inspire the world. You'll be joining 14 other great Americans as Live Human statues including Cher.

So...Ol Bufords been called back to service. I guess I can do this for the country. I do have some concern about security and the Chicago date. There's a few boys from the old days that would love to have a free crack at Buford and standing on a pedestal as a live statue inspiring others by my mere presence provides that opportunity for them. I'll have to deal with that and the Cubs on that day.

So, watch for me coming to a city near you. I look forward to inspiring you by my presence. Feel free to take pictures, apparently we're not allowed to provide life answers on an individual basis but I'll be happy to address your questions in a broad sense. See you, (more appropriately, you'll be seeing me very soon) - Buford

Now, leave me alone, I've got a lot to do today.